I think this might help your mindset:
I constantly get messaged: You are only happy because you are skinny. Your life is perfect because you are skinny.
P.S it is 12.05am so I apologise for spelling mistakes, kindly message me where to fix up if you want! x
Here is my reply:
What you are saying isn’t outrageous in the slightest.
Would you believe me if I said that I used to have the exact same mindset.
Yep, I actually thought that was true.
I thought, hey when I am toned and thin, THAT is when I will be happy.
“When I am skinny I will be positive, I will be such an amazing human being. The reason why I am so unhappy is because nothing was just given to me. Other people don’t have to work for anything. Fuck, why me? Why am I stuck in this body? Why can’t I be fucking happy like all of those skinny girls? When I am skinny I will have a great boyfriend, omg I will be rich and famous and fun omg omg. If I had one wish it would be to be skinny…
…Fuck all of those girls who are naturally skinny. They are so full of their positive shit. Of course they love themselves, I mean I would if I was them. Of course they can see life as a fucking journey, they never have to work for anything. Their lives are a joke…”
You might laugh at that, you might think it is true, you might think I am insane to have thought that. But hey, keep reading only if you want. You have a choice remember.
You dear anon are completely right, social media at the moment paints that picture, doesn’t it? Most fitspo page or ‘postive’ page that has a large follower base are generally ‘slim’ girl. Girls that show pictures of themselves thin, smiling, successful therefore (supposedly) happy.
But take a moment to think about why they have such a large follower base? Is it because they were ‘destined’ beauties that are just amazing to look at OR is it because we THINK they are amazing. Key word, ‘think’. We follow them. Therefore maybe we should look at why?
A follower base doesn’t determine a person’s value; it just shows that amount of people that appeal to whatever it is they are demonstrating through photos.
Before I decide to go off in 464785 billion tangents, I guess this idea of ‘naturally slim’ might just your point of view. Here is some background information:
My mother, 44, has eaten clean and exercised literally 5 times a week (2 hours at gym) for the past 20 or so years of her life. She looks freaking good. She has had 3 children. After her 3rd she weighed I think 15kgs more? Anyway, she decided to get into clean eating/gym then!
BUT that never changed her happiness. Her inner growth made her happy, the way she looked at life, at herself, at others: that made her ‘happy.’ Not the number on a scale or her jean size.
Yes, it can be debated that I am ‘naturally’ slim. I have a narrow waistline and wide hips. I guess I was built like that? All I know is that from practically 0-11 I was a very active child, loved school, loved sport, loved art etc. I never really sat at home. I was a pretty average weight? I guess ‘slim’?
Anyhow, at 11, I got my period and obviously my body started to change. I noticed my thighs getting bigger, breasts forming, hips widening. From 11-14 I was never technically ‘overweight’ but I wasn’t ‘toned’ or ‘fit’ looking at all. Yeah I thought I was fat. I told myself that most days.
So I decided to run every single day and eat nothing, then heaps, nothing then heaps.
I met the most amazing boy when I was 11, I was invited to his formal when I was 15. In motivation to go to his formal I lost 6kg. It wasn’t that noticeable for everyone, but for me it was. I still felt miserable. I sometimes skipped meals, and ate very little. It was horrible. But all I wanted was to look good for him.
I was lost. And the most interesting thing is, I didn’t even know it.
This spiral of self-pity was due to a number of influencing factors: my parents divorce, body changing, normal kind of teenage/puberty problems.
I hated my body. I wished more than anything to be thin so I would be happy.
So let’s talk about that idea shall we?
What does being ‘thin’ represent to you?
Is it purely just the physical sensation you experience when seeing ‘thin’ girls that excites this desire in your mind? Does a frame with little fat appeal to you, and make you go ‘hell yeah that human body with a small percentage of fat looks amazing’
Have you ever wondered why?
Why does a certain body type appeal to you so much?
When in reality, it is just a something to look at? A shape? A combination of muscle and fat?
You can’t feel it, you simply just see it. You observe it.
I can’t blame you or me, it is plastered in our faces 24/7. It is fair to say majority of ‘successful’ people these days, or ‘idols’ are considered thin and attractive. Yes models, tv presenters, actresses. OF course not everyone. But I think it is safe to say majority. Is that wrong, not at all. What is ‘wrong’ would be putting so much value on it.
It is simply just a perception that has been passed down for a few generations. It is a perception that has dominated our lives.
It isn’t anyone’s fault. However it is up to YOU and me to decide if we want to give into this perception that skinny=happy.
It is completely insane.
But it is also completely sane.
We aren’t aware of why we think this.
We don’t ever stop and question, ‘hey do we want thin bodies?
I think we don’t want it. We just THINK we do.
Key word think.
Again, let’s unravel this concept some more.
Why do we think skinny=happy?
Is it because they ‘appear’ to be happy? Successful?
Or is it more than that.
You could argue I am ‘slim’. Many would agree. Therefore you would assume majority of the time I am happy?
Ha ha ha. I am not even going to explain that, because it is so irrational.
Do you think that having a slim body frame makes me:
excel in school
The list can go on.
The answer is No.
Does it make me positive?
What makes me positive and motivated to I guess ‘enjoy life’ is through the process of uncovering “who I am. “
Who I want to be? Who do I choose to be? What I do each day? What I choose to do each day. How I give to myself, therefore able to give to others. How I decide to consciously accept my body because it is mine. How I force myself to stop feeling sorry for all the bad things in my life. How I choose to focus on the good. How in the bad times, I remain humble. How I try so god damn desperately hard to achieve things. How I plan everything I want to do. I know exactly what I want.
How? I choose to look for it. I choose to explore all the options and opinions out there.
I choose to create my own reality. I choose how I think. I choose my thoughts.
I am strong enough to know I have that power.
And guess what. Nothing and no one is stopping you from doing the same.
Stop complaining for one moment and decide right now that you are in charge of your life.
Still in school? So what, you can choose to make it enjoyable. You can choose to drop out. You can choose to have an amazing education.
Hate your body? Did you ever stop and thank it.
“I hate my legs.” Would you hate them if they were gone?
“I hate my stomach” Would you like it removed?
“I hate my nose” Would you like it removed too?
Did you ever stop to think how fukcing incredible your body is?
Do you ever thank your lungs for letting you breathe? Your digestive system for allowing food to nourish you? Your heart for bumping blood?
Your body is fucking amazing.
Yes I swore. I am passionate about this because I know exactly how you feel. And guess what, probably 90% of the population are dealing with this right now.
Don’t think you can lose weight? Go search up on Google the MILLIONS of people who have lost it. They did it, why can’t you?
Don’t think you can be happy? You are lying to yourself.
The possibilities on this planet are endless. Yes they fucking are. You can do anything you want tomorrow. Anything. You could run away from home, you can cry, you can complain, but hey no one is stopping you from deciding to go for a jog, eat ice cream, laugh, create something, write something, make goals, think about how you can achieve them.
Nothing and no one is stopping you from being happy.
If you still think being skinny will make you happy. Fucking do it. Lose weight. I bet my life, that losing weight doesn’t make a person happy.
Knowing you are in charge of who you are and how you live your life does.
You have that power.
So go. Right now, turn off your phone, shut down your computer. Go take out a pen and paper and write down exactly who you want to be and why.